You know you're from Fresno, when...

You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a "Tri-tip" comes from.
You think salsa goes on everything.
Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.
The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
People break out coats and uggs when the temperature drops below 70.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You still don't know your way around downtown.
Anywhere "and 99" is too far away.
You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
You have to explain to someone about "G Street." (Those of you reading this in Denver, G Street = Colfax)
The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
You never knew how you managed before River Park.
Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, "Just wait."
You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.
Running from the police consists of hiding in a vineyard.
You know what 4-H is.
Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
You have "foggy" school days instead of Snow Days.
You classify people by which highschool they go to.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
You have Asthma.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. (oh so true)
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
It's a good day when the air quality is only Moderately Severe.
You can go cow tipping in more than one location.
A "night" on the town takes only 20 minutes.
To put fresno on the map, you mention all the famous people from here: kevin federline, marcus wesson and amber frey.
when the only thing to do if youre under 21 is to go to the fucking hookah bar
After moving away, takes a full year before you stop using "the club"...
the "family business" just might be a backyard meth lab.
You know your from fresno when the overpasses are the only hills in town.
You wear gloves when driving in the summer... so you don't burn your hands!
you refer to the bridge that connects 41 south to 180 east as "the curve of death."
You know what Hmong means
There are 7 streets, in different parts of town, with the same name (Alluvial?!)
You Know You're From Fresno When The FFA Makes The Front Page.
You know the best bagel place ever is Fresno Bagel and the best sandwich place is Geno's.
You still call CSU Fresno Fresno State