Freaking Funny!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Sunday, January 4, 2009
It's all my fault
No matter what happens, no matter who is really at fault, no matter what the cause, my dad always find a way to blame me. It's always my fault. No matter what. It's always my fault.
Take this evening for instance... I ask my sister out for a drink. She forgot her purse. I offered her my truck to drive to her house to grab her bag. 30 minutes later, she's no where to be found. Turns out she got pulled over because she didn't turn on the headlamps. My dad blames me because I should have driven her to her house to pick up her bag.
Fact one -- My sister forgot her id, not me.
Fact two -- My sister failed to turn on the headlamps, not me.
Fact three -- My sister didn't ask me to drive her to her house.
Fact four -- NONE OF IT WAS MY FAULT.
And yet, it's all my fault. As usual.
Take this evening for instance... I ask my sister out for a drink. She forgot her purse. I offered her my truck to drive to her house to grab her bag. 30 minutes later, she's no where to be found. Turns out she got pulled over because she didn't turn on the headlamps. My dad blames me because I should have driven her to her house to pick up her bag.
Fact one -- My sister forgot her id, not me.
Fact two -- My sister failed to turn on the headlamps, not me.
Fact three -- My sister didn't ask me to drive her to her house.
Fact four -- NONE OF IT WAS MY FAULT.
And yet, it's all my fault. As usual.
Saturday, January 3, 2009
You know you're from Fresno, when...
You have to explain to friends from out of town what animal a "Tri-tip" comes from.
You think salsa goes on everything.
Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.
The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
People break out coats and uggs when the temperature drops below 70.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You still don't know your way around downtown.
Anywhere "and 99" is too far away.
You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
You have to explain to someone about "G Street." (Those of you reading this in Denver, G Street = Colfax)
The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
You never knew how you managed before River Park.
Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, "Just wait."
You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.
Running from the police consists of hiding in a vineyard.
You know what 4-H is.
Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
You have "foggy" school days instead of Snow Days.
You classify people by which highschool they go to.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
You have Asthma.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. (oh so true)
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
It's a good day when the air quality is only Moderately Severe.
You can go cow tipping in more than one location.
A "night" on the town takes only 20 minutes.
To put fresno on the map, you mention all the famous people from here: kevin federline, marcus wesson and amber frey.
when the only thing to do if youre under 21 is to go to the fucking hookah bar
After moving away, takes a full year before you stop using "the club"...
the "family business" just might be a backyard meth lab.
You know your from fresno when the overpasses are the only hills in town.
You wear gloves when driving in the summer... so you don't burn your hands!
you refer to the bridge that connects 41 south to 180 east as "the curve of death."
You know what Hmong means
There are 7 streets, in different parts of town, with the same name (Alluvial?!)
You Know You're From Fresno When The FFA Makes The Front Page.
You know the best bagel place ever is Fresno Bagel and the best sandwich place is Geno's.
You still call CSU Fresno Fresno State
You think salsa goes on everything.
Drivers think a red light is just a suggestion.
Your out-of-town friends start to visit after October, but clear out before the end of April.
The best restaurants in town start with "El" or "Los."
You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
People break out coats and uggs when the temperature drops below 70.
The pool can be warmer than you are.
You realize that Valley Fever isn't a disco dance.
You still don't know your way around downtown.
Anywhere "and 99" is too far away.
You drive just as fast on a sunny day in June as a foggy day in December.
You have to explain to someone about "G Street." (Those of you reading this in Denver, G Street = Colfax)
The whole town shuts down at 11:00.
You complain about how boring Fresno is, but still make fun of people from Sanger, Selma, Reedley, etc.
You never knew how you managed before River Park.
Someone from out-of-town talks about how foggy it is and tell them, "Just wait."
You know not to take Shaw at 8, 12, or 5.
You swear there was an orchard there last week, where now there are houses.
Running from the police consists of hiding in a vineyard.
You know what 4-H is.
Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
You have "foggy" school days instead of Snow Days.
You classify people by which highschool they go to.
You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
You have Asthma.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. (oh so true)
You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
It's a good day when the air quality is only Moderately Severe.
You can go cow tipping in more than one location.
A "night" on the town takes only 20 minutes.
To put fresno on the map, you mention all the famous people from here: kevin federline, marcus wesson and amber frey.
when the only thing to do if youre under 21 is to go to the fucking hookah bar
After moving away, takes a full year before you stop using "the club"...
the "family business" just might be a backyard meth lab.
You know your from fresno when the overpasses are the only hills in town.
You wear gloves when driving in the summer... so you don't burn your hands!
you refer to the bridge that connects 41 south to 180 east as "the curve of death."
You know what Hmong means
There are 7 streets, in different parts of town, with the same name (Alluvial?!)
You Know You're From Fresno When The FFA Makes The Front Page.
You know the best bagel place ever is Fresno Bagel and the best sandwich place is Geno's.
You still call CSU Fresno Fresno State
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Christmas Greetings
What a year it has been! (I would have said that another year has passed, but someone freaked out last year thinking someone had died.)
School has been going good… Only three more semesters to go, and then I’ll be a Juris Doctor. I have decided to pursue International Development Law, focusing on Sub-Saharan Africa. My goal is to help bring Africa into the 21st century. With this in mind, I’ve been taking as many international courses as I can fit into my schedule. I’ve also recently written a paper on Kenya’s economy which I’m going to try to publish.
I’m still working at Paychex, as a Senior Client Service Advisor. They announced this summer that that my job title will cease to exist between 18 months to 2 years after the announcement. I see it as a blessing, because that falls around graduation. So really, they are saving me the trouble from having to resign. And depending on what the severance package looks like, I might be able to live off of that for the 8 weeks I’ll be studying for the bar exam.
In January, my grandmother, Katherine Wiggins, went home to Heaven after being sick for a long time. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to say goodbye before she passed. For years, my sister, Bonnie, had been trying to arrange to get all the grandchildren together for one holiday or another with her, because she had never had all 6 of her grandchildren in one room at the same time. Bonnie was finally successful, when, in the early morning hours on Martin Luther King Day, all of Nana’s living children and all of her grandchildren gathered together in her hospital room as she left this world. Nana even held on until the National Guard released my cousin Issac to come say his goodbyes.
While it is always sad to lose someone you love, I am comforted by the knowledge that she is in Heaven, and that she has reunited with her husband, and the two children whom she had lost. I was blessed to have spent time with family I don’t see very often. I was also blessed by all the support I got from everyone I know. You prayed for me and my family, and we cannot thank you enough for the support that we received. It was a difficult time, and you helped us through it. Thank you for your love and prayers.
We’ve had a couple of non-human additions to the family. Otter was adopted as a kitten, and lives with Bonnie and Frank until I can get a place of my own. She tolerates the torture that Kaylee and Christina inflict on her - she’s such a trooper! Hansel and Gretel are a pair of parakeets who live in our dining room. Hansel is the tamer of the two, and will sit on your finger, shoulder, head or wherever you put him. Gretel is a little more skittish, and she still likes to bite whoever is handling her. Christina and Kaylee love them so much that one of Kaylee’s first worlds was “Bird!” If the girls are at my house when I get home, Christina will take me by the hand and lead me to their cage so that I can get Hansel out for her. Buddy, the corn snake, celebrated his 10th year in our family. We found a boyfriend for Rio, and hopefully we’ll have some spotted puppies in a few months. The other dogs, Amos and Malachi, are doing fine… Amos has decided that my bed is where he needs to spend the winter, which is fine until he tries to claim my spot for himself.
We didn’t do a whole lot of traveling this year. We spent a week in Alabama for the funeral. I went to visit college friends in Apple Valley and Santa Barbara on Spring Break, the rest of the family went to California in May for my cousin’s wedding. Mom and I took a road trip to see the big presidents’ heads in South Dakota, and Mom and Dad went to India and Nepal in October on a medical mission.
I guess that’s about it… I hope you are well, and that you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
All my love,
The Christmas Wig
School has been going good… Only three more semesters to go, and then I’ll be a Juris Doctor. I have decided to pursue International Development Law, focusing on Sub-Saharan Africa. My goal is to help bring Africa into the 21st century. With this in mind, I’ve been taking as many international courses as I can fit into my schedule. I’ve also recently written a paper on Kenya’s economy which I’m going to try to publish.
I’m still working at Paychex, as a Senior Client Service Advisor. They announced this summer that that my job title will cease to exist between 18 months to 2 years after the announcement. I see it as a blessing, because that falls around graduation. So really, they are saving me the trouble from having to resign. And depending on what the severance package looks like, I might be able to live off of that for the 8 weeks I’ll be studying for the bar exam.
In January, my grandmother, Katherine Wiggins, went home to Heaven after being sick for a long time. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to say goodbye before she passed. For years, my sister, Bonnie, had been trying to arrange to get all the grandchildren together for one holiday or another with her, because she had never had all 6 of her grandchildren in one room at the same time. Bonnie was finally successful, when, in the early morning hours on Martin Luther King Day, all of Nana’s living children and all of her grandchildren gathered together in her hospital room as she left this world. Nana even held on until the National Guard released my cousin Issac to come say his goodbyes.
While it is always sad to lose someone you love, I am comforted by the knowledge that she is in Heaven, and that she has reunited with her husband, and the two children whom she had lost. I was blessed to have spent time with family I don’t see very often. I was also blessed by all the support I got from everyone I know. You prayed for me and my family, and we cannot thank you enough for the support that we received. It was a difficult time, and you helped us through it. Thank you for your love and prayers.
We’ve had a couple of non-human additions to the family. Otter was adopted as a kitten, and lives with Bonnie and Frank until I can get a place of my own. She tolerates the torture that Kaylee and Christina inflict on her - she’s such a trooper! Hansel and Gretel are a pair of parakeets who live in our dining room. Hansel is the tamer of the two, and will sit on your finger, shoulder, head or wherever you put him. Gretel is a little more skittish, and she still likes to bite whoever is handling her. Christina and Kaylee love them so much that one of Kaylee’s first worlds was “Bird!” If the girls are at my house when I get home, Christina will take me by the hand and lead me to their cage so that I can get Hansel out for her. Buddy, the corn snake, celebrated his 10th year in our family. We found a boyfriend for Rio, and hopefully we’ll have some spotted puppies in a few months. The other dogs, Amos and Malachi, are doing fine… Amos has decided that my bed is where he needs to spend the winter, which is fine until he tries to claim my spot for himself.
We didn’t do a whole lot of traveling this year. We spent a week in Alabama for the funeral. I went to visit college friends in Apple Valley and Santa Barbara on Spring Break, the rest of the family went to California in May for my cousin’s wedding. Mom and I took a road trip to see the big presidents’ heads in South Dakota, and Mom and Dad went to India and Nepal in October on a medical mission.
I guess that’s about it… I hope you are well, and that you have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!
All my love,
The Christmas Wig
Monday, December 8, 2008
To attend or not to attend
Do I go to my 10 year reunion?
There are two reasons why I want to go...
There are two reasons why I want to go...
- I want to see if Ryan Avery got fat (I really hope that she did)
- I want to see what everyone did with their lives...
But I don't know that I'm ready to explain to everyone what I'm doing with mine. I won't be done with law school yet... And unless Mathew or Peterson shows up on my door tomorrow and invites me to Vegas for a quickie Elvis wedding, I'll still be single...
Hmm... Not a decision I need to make tonight... What do you all out in cyberspace think??
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