Well, school started two weeks ago, and I'm already behind. But I have every intention to use this, the three day Labor Day Holiday weekend to get all caught up. Wish me luck!!!
~~ The Overscheduled Wig
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Barenaked and Alive
TORONTO (AP) — Barenaked Ladies frontman Ed Robertson and three others have survived a float-plane crash near Bancroft, in southeastern Ontario, the band's manager, Adam Smith, said in an e-mail.
The private float-plane went down Sunday afternoon. The singer, who received pilot's license in 2005, was behind the controls.
Robertson's friend Gord Peel told The Intelligencer that the other passengers were Robertson's wife, Natalie, and their friends Julie and Jeff Jones.
Smith said Sunday night in an e-mail that everyone was fine, but would make no other comment.
The Transportation Safety Board of Canada was assessing the scene of the accident, spokeswoman Julie Leroux said Monday.
~~ The Wig, who's glad everyone made it home okay.
The private float-plane went down Sunday afternoon. The singer, who received pilot's license in 2005, was behind the controls.
Robertson's friend Gord Peel told The Intelligencer that the other passengers were Robertson's wife, Natalie, and their friends Julie and Jeff Jones.
Smith said Sunday night in an e-mail that everyone was fine, but would make no other comment.
The Transportation Safety Board of Canada was assessing the scene of the accident, spokeswoman Julie Leroux said Monday.
~~ The Wig, who's glad everyone made it home okay.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
A Shitty Day, A Pleasant Evening
It is a rare day that I come home after 8 hours of work, a cross town commute in rush hour traffic, and 3 hours of dry law classes, in a good mood. And never in my life did I think that today would be one of those days. Because at work, I had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
It all started with needing to play catch up because the systems were down for the first half of yesterday, didn't come back up until after I had left at noon for class. Which means that I had to play make up as if I had missed a day of work, without the benefit of playing hooky the previous day. In addition, about half of my clients were inherited from a rep who was on leave for several months before leaving all together, and all her former clients have all these time sensitive issues that they email her about 3 months ago, but because she's been out, they haven't been addressed. So I have about 3 months of work to do on 200 clients, most of which is time sensitive. Then, I was going over my teams errors, and some weird errors came up for the client that my trainee is running corrections on. On his first day on the phones, he inherited 150 clients from a rep who was fired for doing absolutely nothing for his clients. The former rep's supervisor gave very complicated corrections to my trainee, corrections that as the former rep's supervisor, he should have done himself before passing the account off to a brand new rep. Not only did he dump these corrections on my trainee, but he gave him incorrect instructions as far as which check date to use when entering the corrections. Plus, the whole point of the corrections was to back out wage info that was entered with incorrect coding, correct the coding, then reenter the info. Well, the supervisor changed the coding before giving my trainee the corrections to do. Meaning that the two weeks he spent backing everything out was a waste of time, because now we have to reenter it, change the coding back to what it was originally, back everything out again to bring the whole account to zero, enter the correct coding, and reissue everything. By jumping the gun and changing the coding early, the supervisor created 2x as much work for my trainee, and more work for me. Work that I don't have time to do. So after all these frustrations, and 45 minutes in rush hour traffic, I was prepared for a mind-numbing evening in class.
I had very low expectations regarding the professor's ability to make my Tuesday Thursday classes interesting. Administrative Law and Legal Ethics were my classes tonight. And right away, Admin surpassed my every expectation, because the prof managed to justify giving the class free beverages (sodas, juice, even beer) as an object lesson in how widespread Admin law is in our lives. And that beer made all the difference. In addition, in Ethics, the prof told us that the final would be an objective, multiple choice exam, (i love objective exams) and then we had a fun problem to discuss using only our preconceived notions of the tensions btwn morality and ethics. Then, on the way to my car, I ran into Monique, my buddy from my history class last Spring. I left with a smile on my face, not because the day was finally over, but because I was in a great mood.
Now I'm printing out the form that I need to have notarized to become a notary, because it's worth the $10 fee every for years to be able to notarize my own stuff.
So I'm winding down my evening, watching the balance beam finals on the Olympics, reveling in my cheap beer buzz, and smiling.
~~ The Wig, in a rare, post-class good mood
It all started with needing to play catch up because the systems were down for the first half of yesterday, didn't come back up until after I had left at noon for class. Which means that I had to play make up as if I had missed a day of work, without the benefit of playing hooky the previous day. In addition, about half of my clients were inherited from a rep who was on leave for several months before leaving all together, and all her former clients have all these time sensitive issues that they email her about 3 months ago, but because she's been out, they haven't been addressed. So I have about 3 months of work to do on 200 clients, most of which is time sensitive. Then, I was going over my teams errors, and some weird errors came up for the client that my trainee is running corrections on. On his first day on the phones, he inherited 150 clients from a rep who was fired for doing absolutely nothing for his clients. The former rep's supervisor gave very complicated corrections to my trainee, corrections that as the former rep's supervisor, he should have done himself before passing the account off to a brand new rep. Not only did he dump these corrections on my trainee, but he gave him incorrect instructions as far as which check date to use when entering the corrections. Plus, the whole point of the corrections was to back out wage info that was entered with incorrect coding, correct the coding, then reenter the info. Well, the supervisor changed the coding before giving my trainee the corrections to do. Meaning that the two weeks he spent backing everything out was a waste of time, because now we have to reenter it, change the coding back to what it was originally, back everything out again to bring the whole account to zero, enter the correct coding, and reissue everything. By jumping the gun and changing the coding early, the supervisor created 2x as much work for my trainee, and more work for me. Work that I don't have time to do. So after all these frustrations, and 45 minutes in rush hour traffic, I was prepared for a mind-numbing evening in class.
I had very low expectations regarding the professor's ability to make my Tuesday Thursday classes interesting. Administrative Law and Legal Ethics were my classes tonight. And right away, Admin surpassed my every expectation, because the prof managed to justify giving the class free beverages (sodas, juice, even beer) as an object lesson in how widespread Admin law is in our lives. And that beer made all the difference. In addition, in Ethics, the prof told us that the final would be an objective, multiple choice exam, (i love objective exams) and then we had a fun problem to discuss using only our preconceived notions of the tensions btwn morality and ethics. Then, on the way to my car, I ran into Monique, my buddy from my history class last Spring. I left with a smile on my face, not because the day was finally over, but because I was in a great mood.
Now I'm printing out the form that I need to have notarized to become a notary, because it's worth the $10 fee every for years to be able to notarize my own stuff.
So I'm winding down my evening, watching the balance beam finals on the Olympics, reveling in my cheap beer buzz, and smiling.
~~ The Wig, in a rare, post-class good mood
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
PISSED THE FUCK OFF
My cubical mate, Josh, and I will take microbreaks from time to time, kick up our feet, and chat for a few minutes, just to stop looking at our computers. Well, sometime last week, someone took a picture of us in this position with their phone. Today, they decided to circulate that picture as a way to undermine us as members of a new project. We don't take phone calls, but we are responsible for 3x as many clients as those who are taking phone calls. But since our client base went up, and theirs went down, their availability requirement went up 15%, and most of them are kinda upset. So, Josh and I got called into an office today, not by our supervisor, or our supervisor's manager, both of whom are out of the office this week, but by one of the two supervisors who gets off on micromanaging other teams rather than their own. He pulled us in an office, and told us that if we wanted to stay on the new project, we needed to fill any time we had on our hands by helping our teammates or jumping in to take phone calls. He showed us the picture, and told us that it was going to the branch manager on Friday, and that we'll have to answer for ourselves.
The project started three days ago. The picture was taken last week. Last week, we had less than half the clients we do now, and were kicking back, waiting for the phone to ring. Neither one of us have had follow up problems, in fact, we were chosen for this project because of our great follow up skills. We are the two people on the team who, when a client asks to be reassigned for lack of follow up, are the person to whom the client is reassigned. We were tapped because our strength at works lies more in the follow up, and less in the customer service. So management gave us more follow up, and less customer service, and for the employees who excel at customer service, and are less reliable on follow up, were given more customer service responsibilities. It seems fair to me, but some blow hole didn't like that they didn't get picked, and decided to exact stupid, petty, childish revenge.
My annual review is in 4 weeks, and if I get reprimanded for some asshole's tainted version of the truth, and my raise is affected by this person's sophmoric prank, I'm seriously gonna have to kick some verbal ass. The way I figure, if I'm gonna get in trouble, I might as well do something to get in trouble for.
I hate office politics. There's no fucking point.
~~ One Pissed Off Wig
The project started three days ago. The picture was taken last week. Last week, we had less than half the clients we do now, and were kicking back, waiting for the phone to ring. Neither one of us have had follow up problems, in fact, we were chosen for this project because of our great follow up skills. We are the two people on the team who, when a client asks to be reassigned for lack of follow up, are the person to whom the client is reassigned. We were tapped because our strength at works lies more in the follow up, and less in the customer service. So management gave us more follow up, and less customer service, and for the employees who excel at customer service, and are less reliable on follow up, were given more customer service responsibilities. It seems fair to me, but some blow hole didn't like that they didn't get picked, and decided to exact stupid, petty, childish revenge.
My annual review is in 4 weeks, and if I get reprimanded for some asshole's tainted version of the truth, and my raise is affected by this person's sophmoric prank, I'm seriously gonna have to kick some verbal ass. The way I figure, if I'm gonna get in trouble, I might as well do something to get in trouble for.
I hate office politics. There's no fucking point.
~~ One Pissed Off Wig
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Barenaked Blunder
DISCLAIMER: POLITICAL AND SOCIAL OPINIONS WILL BE DISCUSSED. I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE, I AM SIMPLY TRYING TO UNRAVEL, RECONCILE AND COMMUNICATE THE COMPLICATED FEELINGS AND OPINIONS THAT I HAVE ON THE OCCASION OF THE ARREST ON DRUG CHARGES OF THE FRONT MAN OF MY FAVORITE BAND.
I'm sure the five of you who read this blog might have heard that Steven Page was arrested last week on charges of possession of cocaine and marijuana in upstate New York. Steven Page is one of the front men of Barenaked Ladies, my favorite band. I've been working out how I feel about this event, because the Barenaked Ladies has always seemed to be one of those clean cut rock bands, the ones who prefer to hang out with their wives and kids, who are in it for the music, not for the fame or the money. And they've grown up together, and really trust each other, and they seemed to be the kind of rock stars who wore their stardom lightly -- who used it for good, to further the causes they stood for, rather than for their own benefit.
Barenaked ladies have always promoted and stood for liberal causes: greener technologies, civil rights, social justice, etc. And though I am a moderate conservative, and don't share many of their political and social opinions on what government should do for us and what it shouldn't, I have always tried to give liberals the benefit of the doubt. Look who they're fighting for: the poor, children, the elderly, ethnic and religious minorities, the environment, the animals -- people and things who don't always have the political power to stand up and fight for themselves. I see liberals as erring on the side of caution, as using government as a catch-all insurance. And while I believe in personal responsibility, and being accountable for ones choices in life, civic duty, and the classic pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps American Dream, I can understand why liberals have the opinions that they have, and hold the values that they hold. I don't agree, but I do agree to disagree, and to live peacefully among them.
But on the other side of the liberal coin from the government taking care of those who can't take care of themselves, is the coddling of the people who choose not to take care of themselves. The catering of those who have learned how to work the system and do as little as possible and let the government do as much as possible for their survival. These people choose to become dependent on government assistance, and as a taxpayer, I cannot condone that choice. I believe that people should be held responsible for their actions. I believe that you can choose your actions, and you can choose your consequences, but you can't choose both.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with Steven Page's drug charges. I promise, I'm getting there. Stay with me... even though this next part is going to sound racist, I don't mean it that way. Just hear me out and keep an open mind.
I don't apologize for slavery. I don't apologize for what European Americans did to the Native Americans. I can't apologize -- I wasn't there, I wasn't a part of it, it was over a hundred years ago, and no amount of apologizing is going to change history. Africans were kidnapped and enslaved. The American government lied to the Native Americans, and stole their land. It all sucked. But nothing can be done about it until the time machine is invented.
I don't believe that affirmative action, or reparations, or anything else is going to make up for slavery and racism. I was listening to an old speech the other day by Booker T Washington, a black professor at the turn of the 20th century. And he said that African Americans who sat around and blamed white Americans for their lot in life were going nowhere, and the only way for the black community to rise was through hard work and determination. Just like the grasshopper who played all summer, and starves all winter, the African American, or any American for that matter, who walks through life taking hand outs from the government just because they're black, or poor, or a single mother, or addicted to drugs, or just plain lazy, is going to be sorely disappointed in the winter of their lives, when they realize that Social Security is not enough to sustain them, and they've done nothing to prepare for this time. (I don't mean to single out the African Americans... There are plenty of white people, Hispanic people, Asian people, men, women, old and young who are guilty of this. It just so happens that the African Americans are being the squeekiest wheel that the moment.) People today are making stupid, selfish choices with the anticipation that the government is going to catch them when they fall, bail them out, make it all better, forgive and forget.
Women are having sex without protection, and getting pregnant without husbands, and using abortion as a form of birth control. I believe that safe and legal abortions should be available for victims of rape, incest or molestation, because I cannot look a women in the eye, after she has gone through the trauma of rape, and ask her to bear a child that resulted from that violent act. But I do not believe that abortion should be used merely for birth control -- I believe that having sex means being responsible for sex -- and living with any of the consequences that come of it. Which doesn't mean living on government assistance forever -- If a woman chooses to have sex, which results in a pregnancy, and that same woman decides to raise the child rather than giving the child up for adoption, then that woman needs to take responsibilty for that choice, and provide for that child, without going on welfare.
People are doing illegal drugs to escape reality, and getting addicted. I know that in America, you are innocent until proven guilty, and I know that Steven Page has plead non guilty to the drug charges, but I have absolutely know doubt in my mind that he was doing cocaine that night in New York. I don't know why Mr. Page chose to do cocaine, or why he is seperated from his wife, but I do know that he made a stupid, selfish choice that will hurt more than just his reputation, but the reputation of his bandmates, and the causes they stand for.
All too often in our society, we forgive the celebrities for making mistakes that we ourselves would be severely punished for making... Nicole Ritchie spends less than a day in jail for multiple DUIs. Michael Jackson is still a free man even though he did what he did with those boys. Professional athletes are often caught up in assault, drug or alcohol, or sexual charges... And they get away with it... A handful of Catholic priests do unspeakable things, and abuse their positions, and every Catholic priest is held responsible. But whenever a basketball star, a rock and roll singer, an actress or someone else uber-famous and an intregal part of our pop culture gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar, it's on the tabloids for a few weeks, and their popularity merely rises. No one knew who Paris Hilton was before her sex video was released, and no one could talk about anyone else while she served her 20 something days in jail. She even got a few days off in the middle for "medical reasons."
While I have no doubt that Mr. Page was doing cocaine at the time of his arrest, I also have no doubt that his celebrity will be his ticket to freedom, and that he will not face any legal punishment. And I still don't know how I feel about that. I have lost respect for him. I believe that choosing to do drugs is a character weakness. I haven't brought myself to listen to any Barenaked Ladies music since I heard of the arrest. And I have no idea if I'll ever listen again. At the moment, I am really angry at Steven, and as angry as I am, I am even more disappointed. I have loved Barenaked Ladies since Stunt, and I have invested a lot of time, energy and money collecting a prolific Barenaked Ladies music collection. But I can't bring myself to listen to it, because I am sick to my stomach over what happened. It was only last month that I took my little niece to see them sing children's music in Boulder, and now I am ashamed that I have held them up so high for ten years. These were the clean cut rock and roll stars. These were the guys who just loved music, and didn't do it for the girls or the money or the press or the drugs. I trusted them to be the good kind of liberals, the kind that want to give more to life than they take out of it, the kind that wanted to use their celebrity for good causes rather then self promotion. They choose to live quiet lives in Toronto, with their wives and kids, focused on raising good citizens and making good music. And all my trust was shattered. Turns out, Steven Page is one of those selfish, irresponsible, rock and roll, grasshopper liberals, who doesn't care that he's setting a bad example to his kids on what choices to make in life.
Maybe by the time their new album comes out next year I will have forgiven Steven, and will enjoy their music again. But I will never forget, and I no longer trust him to be a good guy, and by proxy, I do not trust the band. I am not one of the fans that is rallying around offering support. Steven chose his actions, and now he has to live with the consequences.
I'm sure the five of you who read this blog might have heard that Steven Page was arrested last week on charges of possession of cocaine and marijuana in upstate New York. Steven Page is one of the front men of Barenaked Ladies, my favorite band. I've been working out how I feel about this event, because the Barenaked Ladies has always seemed to be one of those clean cut rock bands, the ones who prefer to hang out with their wives and kids, who are in it for the music, not for the fame or the money. And they've grown up together, and really trust each other, and they seemed to be the kind of rock stars who wore their stardom lightly -- who used it for good, to further the causes they stood for, rather than for their own benefit.
Barenaked ladies have always promoted and stood for liberal causes: greener technologies, civil rights, social justice, etc. And though I am a moderate conservative, and don't share many of their political and social opinions on what government should do for us and what it shouldn't, I have always tried to give liberals the benefit of the doubt. Look who they're fighting for: the poor, children, the elderly, ethnic and religious minorities, the environment, the animals -- people and things who don't always have the political power to stand up and fight for themselves. I see liberals as erring on the side of caution, as using government as a catch-all insurance. And while I believe in personal responsibility, and being accountable for ones choices in life, civic duty, and the classic pulling oneself up by one's bootstraps American Dream, I can understand why liberals have the opinions that they have, and hold the values that they hold. I don't agree, but I do agree to disagree, and to live peacefully among them.
But on the other side of the liberal coin from the government taking care of those who can't take care of themselves, is the coddling of the people who choose not to take care of themselves. The catering of those who have learned how to work the system and do as little as possible and let the government do as much as possible for their survival. These people choose to become dependent on government assistance, and as a taxpayer, I cannot condone that choice. I believe that people should be held responsible for their actions. I believe that you can choose your actions, and you can choose your consequences, but you can't choose both.
You may be wondering what all this has to do with Steven Page's drug charges. I promise, I'm getting there. Stay with me... even though this next part is going to sound racist, I don't mean it that way. Just hear me out and keep an open mind.
I don't apologize for slavery. I don't apologize for what European Americans did to the Native Americans. I can't apologize -- I wasn't there, I wasn't a part of it, it was over a hundred years ago, and no amount of apologizing is going to change history. Africans were kidnapped and enslaved. The American government lied to the Native Americans, and stole their land. It all sucked. But nothing can be done about it until the time machine is invented.
I don't believe that affirmative action, or reparations, or anything else is going to make up for slavery and racism. I was listening to an old speech the other day by Booker T Washington, a black professor at the turn of the 20th century. And he said that African Americans who sat around and blamed white Americans for their lot in life were going nowhere, and the only way for the black community to rise was through hard work and determination. Just like the grasshopper who played all summer, and starves all winter, the African American, or any American for that matter, who walks through life taking hand outs from the government just because they're black, or poor, or a single mother, or addicted to drugs, or just plain lazy, is going to be sorely disappointed in the winter of their lives, when they realize that Social Security is not enough to sustain them, and they've done nothing to prepare for this time. (I don't mean to single out the African Americans... There are plenty of white people, Hispanic people, Asian people, men, women, old and young who are guilty of this. It just so happens that the African Americans are being the squeekiest wheel that the moment.) People today are making stupid, selfish choices with the anticipation that the government is going to catch them when they fall, bail them out, make it all better, forgive and forget.
Women are having sex without protection, and getting pregnant without husbands, and using abortion as a form of birth control. I believe that safe and legal abortions should be available for victims of rape, incest or molestation, because I cannot look a women in the eye, after she has gone through the trauma of rape, and ask her to bear a child that resulted from that violent act. But I do not believe that abortion should be used merely for birth control -- I believe that having sex means being responsible for sex -- and living with any of the consequences that come of it. Which doesn't mean living on government assistance forever -- If a woman chooses to have sex, which results in a pregnancy, and that same woman decides to raise the child rather than giving the child up for adoption, then that woman needs to take responsibilty for that choice, and provide for that child, without going on welfare.
People are doing illegal drugs to escape reality, and getting addicted. I know that in America, you are innocent until proven guilty, and I know that Steven Page has plead non guilty to the drug charges, but I have absolutely know doubt in my mind that he was doing cocaine that night in New York. I don't know why Mr. Page chose to do cocaine, or why he is seperated from his wife, but I do know that he made a stupid, selfish choice that will hurt more than just his reputation, but the reputation of his bandmates, and the causes they stand for.
All too often in our society, we forgive the celebrities for making mistakes that we ourselves would be severely punished for making... Nicole Ritchie spends less than a day in jail for multiple DUIs. Michael Jackson is still a free man even though he did what he did with those boys. Professional athletes are often caught up in assault, drug or alcohol, or sexual charges... And they get away with it... A handful of Catholic priests do unspeakable things, and abuse their positions, and every Catholic priest is held responsible. But whenever a basketball star, a rock and roll singer, an actress or someone else uber-famous and an intregal part of our pop culture gets caught with their hand in the cookie jar, it's on the tabloids for a few weeks, and their popularity merely rises. No one knew who Paris Hilton was before her sex video was released, and no one could talk about anyone else while she served her 20 something days in jail. She even got a few days off in the middle for "medical reasons."
While I have no doubt that Mr. Page was doing cocaine at the time of his arrest, I also have no doubt that his celebrity will be his ticket to freedom, and that he will not face any legal punishment. And I still don't know how I feel about that. I have lost respect for him. I believe that choosing to do drugs is a character weakness. I haven't brought myself to listen to any Barenaked Ladies music since I heard of the arrest. And I have no idea if I'll ever listen again. At the moment, I am really angry at Steven, and as angry as I am, I am even more disappointed. I have loved Barenaked Ladies since Stunt, and I have invested a lot of time, energy and money collecting a prolific Barenaked Ladies music collection. But I can't bring myself to listen to it, because I am sick to my stomach over what happened. It was only last month that I took my little niece to see them sing children's music in Boulder, and now I am ashamed that I have held them up so high for ten years. These were the clean cut rock and roll stars. These were the guys who just loved music, and didn't do it for the girls or the money or the press or the drugs. I trusted them to be the good kind of liberals, the kind that want to give more to life than they take out of it, the kind that wanted to use their celebrity for good causes rather then self promotion. They choose to live quiet lives in Toronto, with their wives and kids, focused on raising good citizens and making good music. And all my trust was shattered. Turns out, Steven Page is one of those selfish, irresponsible, rock and roll, grasshopper liberals, who doesn't care that he's setting a bad example to his kids on what choices to make in life.
Maybe by the time their new album comes out next year I will have forgiven Steven, and will enjoy their music again. But I will never forget, and I no longer trust him to be a good guy, and by proxy, I do not trust the band. I am not one of the fans that is rallying around offering support. Steven chose his actions, and now he has to live with the consequences.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Birthday Memories
Saturday began my 28th year on this Earth. I spent the day with my nieces, met friends for drinks at a local bar, and basically indulged in all that felt good.
It was a good day. It was the first time in quite a long time that I have actually looked forward to my birthday. In the past, the whole month of July was a blue month for me... Independence Day didn't sparkle, and the candles on my birthday cake didn't glow... Maybe I've finally gotten on the right anti-depressants, or maybe I've tackled a few of my ghosts, but for whatever reason, I've been happy this week, this month and this summer, despite the recent hard times.
I'm halfway through law school, I've found my calling (though it will take four years from now to get the education I need to successfully follow that calling). I have a family who I love, and who loves me, though there are times where we can't stand to be in the same house together. I'm successful and respected at my job. I have a good relationship with my sister, and her husband, which has been difficult mountain to climb.
I've finally reconciled myself to be without men until the time is right -- that the advice I got all those years ago was a gift from God. A woman, whose name I have unfortunately forgotten, in my home group at Santa Barbara Community Church, told me before I moved away that I need to be careful to whom I give a piece of my heart, because once I find the man that God has created for me, I might not have anything left to give him. She meant that the more I try to find love on my terms, and not God's, and in my time, and not God's, the more I get hurt, and scarred and distrustful of men. And if I allow myself to become so hurt and scarred and distrustful, when God's timing and God's terms come to fruition, I might not be capable to love the man that I am meant to love. So, I haven't given up on love, but I have given up on looking for it. Right now I have more important things to focus on than getting a man in my bed... I need to finish law school, go to Duke, finish grad school, go to Africa, and minister to the people there. And one day, when God says it's time, I will meet my husband, and I will have saved what's left of my heart for him.
Now that I enter my late 20's, I can no longer claim girlhood. I am a woman, a strong, smart, confident woman, who knows the loving forgiveness of God, and the accepting love of my family and friends. 27 might not be one of those milestone birthdays, but I think I'm finally coming into my own. I am a modern woman of the world, and I like it!
~~ The Wig, birthday girl. Um, I mean birthday woman
It was a good day. It was the first time in quite a long time that I have actually looked forward to my birthday. In the past, the whole month of July was a blue month for me... Independence Day didn't sparkle, and the candles on my birthday cake didn't glow... Maybe I've finally gotten on the right anti-depressants, or maybe I've tackled a few of my ghosts, but for whatever reason, I've been happy this week, this month and this summer, despite the recent hard times.
I'm halfway through law school, I've found my calling (though it will take four years from now to get the education I need to successfully follow that calling). I have a family who I love, and who loves me, though there are times where we can't stand to be in the same house together. I'm successful and respected at my job. I have a good relationship with my sister, and her husband, which has been difficult mountain to climb.
I've finally reconciled myself to be without men until the time is right -- that the advice I got all those years ago was a gift from God. A woman, whose name I have unfortunately forgotten, in my home group at Santa Barbara Community Church, told me before I moved away that I need to be careful to whom I give a piece of my heart, because once I find the man that God has created for me, I might not have anything left to give him. She meant that the more I try to find love on my terms, and not God's, and in my time, and not God's, the more I get hurt, and scarred and distrustful of men. And if I allow myself to become so hurt and scarred and distrustful, when God's timing and God's terms come to fruition, I might not be capable to love the man that I am meant to love. So, I haven't given up on love, but I have given up on looking for it. Right now I have more important things to focus on than getting a man in my bed... I need to finish law school, go to Duke, finish grad school, go to Africa, and minister to the people there. And one day, when God says it's time, I will meet my husband, and I will have saved what's left of my heart for him.
Now that I enter my late 20's, I can no longer claim girlhood. I am a woman, a strong, smart, confident woman, who knows the loving forgiveness of God, and the accepting love of my family and friends. 27 might not be one of those milestone birthdays, but I think I'm finally coming into my own. I am a modern woman of the world, and I like it!
~~ The Wig, birthday girl. Um, I mean birthday woman
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