Apple is the Devil

I bought a 160 gb 6th generation Ipod classic five months ago, spending my bi-annual bonus on a little treat for myself.

Saturday, the battery died, and I haven't gotten it to charge since. So, after finally managing to find out how to report it damaged, making an appointment and driving to the next county to the closest Apple store, the following scene ensued:

Me: My Ipod won't charge any more, can you help?
Weird Australian Apple "Genius": Sure, let me take a look.
He then plugs my ipod (who's name is Mark Twain) into his MacBook, and waits for it to load. While that happens, I'm telling him everything I've tried, using different cords, different power adapters, different outlets, different computers, and nothing did the trick. At this point, Mark has loaded.
WAA"G": Oh. You use a P.C (in a snarky condescending tone)
ME: (In my head) Of course I do, most of the country uses a PC. (out load) Yes. Yes I do.
WAA"G" sees that I named my Ipod Mark Twain rather than Ashleigh's Tunes or My Music, looks at me like I'm high, and raises an eyebrow. He sees that the Ipod is working when connected to power, just like I told him. Then he fiddles with his Mac, looking up the users guide and troubleshooting guide, and finally gives up after all of 3 minutes.
WAA"G": Well, there isn't a quick fix for this, so we'll just swap it out for you.
Me: That's great. It'll be exactly the same?
WAA"G": Since it's still under warranty, absolutely.
Me: The engraving and everything? (See, I had it engraved with my favorite quote, which was said by Mark Twain, hence the name)
WAA"G": Oh, no. It won't be engraved. We don't have an engraver here.
Me: So then it won't be exactly the same.
WAA"G": No, I guess not.
Me: So how do I get a replacement that's engraved.
WAA"G": You'll have to go to Apple.com, and file a service request, and send it in to be replaced.
Me: Can't you send it in?
WAA"G": Oh, no. We don't do that.
Me: Why not? When my PC breaks, and I take it into the store, they are able to send it in for me, since I made the effort of bringing it into the store. (True story, though 6 years ago)
WAA"G": I'm sorry, Ma'am (yes, he ma'amed me). That's just the way it works.
Me: How long will it take?
WAA"G": about a week.
Me: Well, when I get a new one, with that battery crap out in 5 months and I'll have to do this 2-3 times a year?
WAA"G": The battery could die the day you get it, there are not guarantees.
Me: Well, will I get a new warranty every time?
WAA"G": No, the warranty expires one year from your original purchase.
Me: And why can't you send the Ipod in for me?
WAA"G": We don't have the boxes here to do that.
Me: Well, I don't have any boxes.
WAA"G": No, Apple will send you a box.
Me: Oh, so instead of me handing you my broken Ipod, and you sending it to corporate for fixing or replacement, I have to go home and wait for a box to arrive, wait for Apple to receive the box, and wait for a new Ipod to come from China?
WAA"G": If you insist on the engraving. Otherwise we can just swap it out for you today.
Me: I either walk out today with a new Ipod that isn't exactly like the one I paid for, or I can wait three weeks for Apple to send me a box, me to send it back, and them to send me a new one that is exactly like the one I paid for, but with a shorter warranty. This is bureaucratic bullshit.
It's at this point that the two young computer geeks beside WAAG get a little scared. So, I resist the urge to yell at the manager, grab my Ipod and go.

I'm still really pissed if you couldn't tell.

So I'm here to tell you that you shouldn't buy anything Apple, because while their commercials make them out to be these touchy-feely, we're accessible, and we're trying to take over the world but you'll like what we do with it kind of computer company, their tech support isn't worth shit.

Apple is from the Devil. Buy Windows.

~~ The Wig